The Radical Middle

Hi-diddle-diddle, the Radical Middle!
Oh, what a charming scene
As, right or wrong, we sail along,
Half-way in-between!

But what is this from off to port?
We sight a pirate ship!
All black and scowly, grim and growly!
We must escape it's grip!

Drop the anchor! Hoist the sails!
We've got to get away!
Call the captains! Call the crew!
--What is that you say?

Sails rotten? Crew is gone?
(I thought the crew adored us!)
Compass broken? Charts awry?
--Look out! They're going to board us!

We cut and slash with wooden swords;
How dare they not retreat!
We cry and swear and tear our hair,
And stamp our little feet!

"Stop! You can't do this to us!
We really do forbid it!"
(But forsooth, to tell the truth,
They went ahead and did it!)

Hi-diddle-diddle, the Radical Middle;
T'was such a charming scene,
As right or wrong we sailed along
Half-way in-between.